Sunday, October 4, 2009


We all suffer it in one form or another... some live a life filled with physical or mental pain & end up looking for a ways to block this pain out.  I have many pains myself and sometimes I can simply block the physical and mental out, I sometimes struggle with both at once.

It takes a lot of strength to deal with certain pains and some deeper pains can be all enveloping if they aren't kept in check.  I've got deep life long scars, both mental and physical. I have dealt with some over many years, others only a few short months these new pains are taking some getting used to as well.

If you throw emotional aspects in there then it gets more tense and complex, these things have triggers and some are as simple as a sound or a smell.  I can't smell strong scented lavender without thinking about an ex-girlfriend but I love the smell too... I can't go past a certain point locally without remembering the horror of lives lost. I had trouble visiting an aunt as her house used to be an old church, one very particular one & I had nightmares whenever there.. I of course had a fair bit of trouble sleeping and rarely slept well while at their place.

Physical pain I feel is easier to block out because you are able to come accustomed to it.  You can actually control the nerves that send the pain message out, that is what pain tablets actually do... yet you can do it with lots of practice and that is something I've had but even then you will get times when it still hurts and catches you off guard.  That's coz what you are blocking is the normal pain so any extra pain can get thru.

I've never been good at controlling emotional pain and over the last few years I've found that as a person I've become more emotional and that has made me more and more vulnerable to the emotional pain.

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