Thursday, June 11, 2009


Within my book of memories,
Are special thoughts of you.
And all the many nice things
You often say and do -

As I turn the pages,
And recall each single thought,
I realize the happiness
That knowing you has brought.

There are memories of the times we've shared
Both bright and sunny days.
There are memories of your kindness
And your friendly thoughtful ways.

There are memories of all those notes,
We would write back and forth,
When we would just get together,
And talk of this or that.

And when I recall these memories
As I go along life's way,
I find they grow more precious still
With every passing day.

Wings of a Butterfly

Your friendship is special
Like the flowers that bloom,
Or when a butterfly emerges
From within its cocoon...

You remind me of that butterfly,
Loving and free,
Bright and colourful,
For the world to see...

We will share sunshine and rainbows;
Sometimes, the rain and the snow;
We'll stand together through it,
While the cold winds blow...

When the time is right,
We won't stop to ask "Why?"
Our friendship will take flight
On the wings of a butterfly...

The Friendship Box

Into a box of friendship
To insure that it is strong
First a layer of respect
On the bottom does belong.

Then to the sides attach,
In the corners where they meet,
Several anchors full of trust,
Devoid of all Deceit.

The height of friendship can be measured
By the sides of four,
So make them all a larger cut,
And the box will hold much more.

Now fill it up with courtesy,
Honour and esteem,
Understanding, sympathy,
And passion for a dream.

Add to that your honesty,
Emotions joy and love,
And since they¿re so important,
Place them up above.

But leave the box wide open
So all can see inside,
To learn what makes a friendship work
From the box you built with pride.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Failed Relationships

The worst of my failed relationships was with a lady named Kelly. She was someone with whom I had gotten exceptionally close in a relatively short time and to be honest I was happy with her.

I was in the Army and that was something I was enjoying and I had met Kelly through some friends of hers and mine. We were just good friends to start with but after a month or so there was definately something there between us and we ended up being a couple. We were happy for quite some time and even got to the point when we seemed inseperable. That was our highest point and that was when I did something I now regret, I proposed.

She accepted and we decided to wait to tell each persons families when we felt they were ready, because we both felt our families would say we were rushing it. As it turned out our families probably would've been right, but then how was I to know what would happen in the next few months. After the engagement things seemed to quieten off between us, mainly because I was away doing Army work and she was stuck without me there. We sent each other messages everyday, sometimes more than one a day.

I came back from one of my Army stints away and we had a wonderful time and I unfortunately had to go again. That was tough on Kelly more so than me I think because that is where the trouble came into it. Kelly wandered during one of my trips away and found herself with another man. I was totally unaware of this and came back from one of my short stint away. This time I was home again for a short while then off again as the Army dictated. While at home Kelly and I were so close again and things were really good and I could sense a change in her person that she didn't probably realise.

I was away for a while and during this time I found out that Kelly was pregnant, this was a joyous occasion as we had planned a family but not that soon. As they say sometimes things happen that you can't plan and Kelly never planned this, I was unaware of the turmoil her pregnancy obviously caused her. I was happy thinking I was the father when she was aware that I wasn't. A fact she managed to keep from me for a few months.

Finally that stint away was done and I returned home, we were happy and I did a lot of work to make sure that I could get extra time off here and there. It was during a night of extra work that one of my friends noticed her out with another guy - her response to him was "This is my cousin visiting from interstate, I haven't seen him in years." He could tell that she was not related to him because of what he had seen before.

Naturally he told me and I asked Kelly and her response was the same as it had been for my friend. I didn't think anything of it because I trusted her and she was going to marry me. A couple weeks passed and I again found myself away from home - this time on an extended trip of 3 months. I knew that it would be hard on Kelly but I told her I would call her every day to see how things were doing with her and the baby.

I was away for 2 months and I was to the point of counting the weeks down to going home, with 2 weeks left to go I phoned her to get no answer at our place. I decided she must've had a doctors appointment and left it until the next day. I phoned our place again and got no answer, this time I tried her mobile and got the number has been disconnected message. Maybe she had forgotten to pay her bill I thought so I decided to wait until that evening to phone her at home.

I did and got no answer again, I got a little worried and called a friend who went to our place to look and he said she wasn't home. Her car was gone so maybe she was at a friends, I said no worries mate I will give her a call in a couple days. With a week to go I hadn't heard from her and then I got in touch with her, she said "Hi baby, been having some issues with the baby so staying with a friend. I am late for a doctors appointment so I have to go, talk to you soon."

That was the last thing I heard from her while I was away. I came home after that to a relatively empty house, all her stuff was gone and a lot of our shared stuff too. She even had the indignity to take some of my prized possessions with her. I remember falling onto the bed and just not moving for hours, totally shattered. The next week at work I don't really remember I just went thru the motions and went home and shut myself away. I finally got a phone call a week after getting home, from a payphone someplace. "I don't love you and you're not the father." was all she said then she hung up the phone before I could even ask why.

Lets just say that whole incident put me in a whole so deep I didn't think I would climb out, any way one of my friends noticed that I hadn't been out and came around to see me and that is when I got help. He told work what had happened and I was sent for counselling and in the end I kind of got over it but not fully. Even today I still have issues because of what happened to me back then.

Saturday, June 6, 2009


I try but cannot break free from the encompassing darkness,
Swimming endlessly, I find I’m drowning in a sea of sorrow,
I’m buffeted and hit by wave, upon relentless wave of despair,
Wanting to give up to the black, to not face another tomorrow,

Triumphantly it overcomes me and I surrender myself to it,
On my downward path where there in no warmth in sight,
I feel your radiance reaching down, trying to grab my hand,
As your words and feeling work to bring me toward your light,

I again feel myself now at the surface struggling once more,
Swimming with all my might for dear life, trying to break free,
Your soft words and gentle persuasion drive me further on,
With all your compassion and gentle heart, you try to save me,

In my mind I see your beautiful soft face and your loving eyes,
All the while wanting to feel the warmth of your arms in mine,
Slowly a smile breaks from deep within and shines upon the surface,
Does this now mean that I will again be happy, cheerful and fine?

Tired, I slowly fall into a somewhat restless and erratic slumber,
The demons in my mind running amok causing me nightmares,
Here so very far away from your caring, warmth and compassion,
I have to fight alone with all my darkest fears, as if nobody cares,

Gradually my happiness is erased from my very thoughts and dreams,
I awaken, somewhat shaken by the dream and start to softly weep,
Again, your angelic words rain down on me, as if from heaven above,
Returning me to comfort where again I can find a restful sleep,

This time your warmth and comfort endures and the dreams vanish,
Somehow you have helped me, beyond the miles we are apart,
Your strength caring and conviction hold my fragile slumber in tact,
And I awaken rejuvenated, by the fact I love you with all my heart.

That is an original poem written by me and inspired by someone very special to me.