life... and how crazy things can get

I just wanted to talk a little about a few things from my past, for one I know a few people and I am talking about guys here who would try and have sex with more than one person in a night.  I know some people would say that is pretty cool but I think it's pretty gross and it's something that isn't for me as I don't even like one night stands as they are shallow and empty.  That's my opinion and my personal feeling and I think those that regularly partake in those activities are generally of low moral character, call it prudish but you have to be a bit more careful with your sexual activities I feel.

I have dated exotic dancers, ok you can call them strippers if you like, and they have to deal with a lot of low life perverted individuals in the work they do, sure they get well paid but I tell you a lot of the girls can tell which guys are creeps within 2 minutes of spending time with them.  I have to admit that I have had a lot of lap dances and from a variety of girls because they were comfortable with me as I was always respectful and since I helped my lady friend with her routines they always asked me for assistance or advice.  My lady and I were happy and she asked me why I never got jealous, I told her that because she was just doing a job, and she always came home to me after....   :)

Having been engaged and betrayed was difficult to deal with and to be honest looking back at the whole relationsip with the dancer I feel I was testing myself, trying to push my boundaries and also testing my faith in women once more.  I was in the military at this time and fate seperated us, she continued her work and studies while I moved interstate.  The move was something we both knew was coming and it was mutually agreed that a long distance relationship for us would in fact be worse because of her work and my past history which she was now fully aware of.

Friends can be intriguing people, I look back at my time as a schoolboy and realise that many of those friends have gone and changed.  I also look at my current batch of friends and find only a few I trust completely and they are mainly women... considering my past history and trust issues with women for over a year I find that a total irony in itself.  Of all the people in my life, apart from myself their is one person who knows more of my life's story, history, happiness, joy, pain and suffering... I hope she reads this and understands just how important she has been to me over the past 3 and a half years... that's right it's been that long - I was looking back at things and events and finally worked out how far back we went.