Our mind is an amazing strange yet wonderful thing, magicians continue to chose to trick the mind into seeing things that are not really happening.
Alas sometimes we can also fool ourselves and that can be very bad not only for us but those around us because when we are fooled by ourself then we can also end up hurting those around us.
The worst pain to get is one that we feel is there and real but in fact it is just a figment of our own cruel and twisted imaginations. I have experienced so many bad things in my life and a lot of those are hiding deep within my mind, I keep many locked away as good as I can but there are times of weakness when they force their way out and wreak havoc with me and my state of mind.
I do not condone the things I did and I have apologised to the most important person in my life but I cannot excuse myself as simply as she did because I hurt her and I personally feel that I deserve a far more severe punishment. One more befitting of what I did than a simple heartfelt apology, real pain is what I deserve........