hmmmmmmmm

I have to admit that I sometimes feel that I have like this extra sense that tells me when someone close or very special to me is having troubles.  I thought the thing had gone but about a year ago it came back & hit me hard.  I likened the first one to like being punched in the shoulder as hard as someone can, since then they've more been like a muscle twinge in subtlty but I guess coz they are more frequent now I'm more used to them.

Last year too the event that spiked the return was pretty major & I did sort of use the 'sense' to let a friend know someone wasn't right and the worst thing was they were in a pretty bad state which instantly knocked me down hard.  Since then I've paid more attention but also had to learn to ignore it as I've asked a friend who said they were fine, maybe they weren't but said they were so I wouldn't stress.

This blog is because I ignored the feeling last night when I should've listened to it, a friend needs me now but I fear they are not wanting my help even though I'd drop everything and be there for them if they needed me to be.  I have to admit I hate feeling helpless but worse is the feeling of not being there and failing my friend, which stems from a painful time in my own life.