Sunday, June 7, 2009

Failed Relationships

The worst of my failed relationships was with a lady named Kelly. She was someone with whom I had gotten exceptionally close in a relatively short time and to be honest I was happy with her.

I was in the Army and that was something I was enjoying and I had met Kelly through some friends of hers and mine. We were just good friends to start with but after a month or so there was definately something there between us and we ended up being a couple. We were happy for quite some time and even got to the point when we seemed inseperable. That was our highest point and that was when I did something I now regret, I proposed.

She accepted and we decided to wait to tell each persons families when we felt they were ready, because we both felt our families would say we were rushing it. As it turned out our families probably would've been right, but then how was I to know what would happen in the next few months. After the engagement things seemed to quieten off between us, mainly because I was away doing Army work and she was stuck without me there. We sent each other messages everyday, sometimes more than one a day.

I came back from one of my Army stints away and we had a wonderful time and I unfortunately had to go again. That was tough on Kelly more so than me I think because that is where the trouble came into it. Kelly wandered during one of my trips away and found herself with another man. I was totally unaware of this and came back from one of my short stint away. This time I was home again for a short while then off again as the Army dictated. While at home Kelly and I were so close again and things were really good and I could sense a change in her person that she didn't probably realise.

I was away for a while and during this time I found out that Kelly was pregnant, this was a joyous occasion as we had planned a family but not that soon. As they say sometimes things happen that you can't plan and Kelly never planned this, I was unaware of the turmoil her pregnancy obviously caused her. I was happy thinking I was the father when she was aware that I wasn't. A fact she managed to keep from me for a few months.

Finally that stint away was done and I returned home, we were happy and I did a lot of work to make sure that I could get extra time off here and there. It was during a night of extra work that one of my friends noticed her out with another guy - her response to him was "This is my cousin visiting from interstate, I haven't seen him in years." He could tell that she was not related to him because of what he had seen before.

Naturally he told me and I asked Kelly and her response was the same as it had been for my friend. I didn't think anything of it because I trusted her and she was going to marry me. A couple weeks passed and I again found myself away from home - this time on an extended trip of 3 months. I knew that it would be hard on Kelly but I told her I would call her every day to see how things were doing with her and the baby.

I was away for 2 months and I was to the point of counting the weeks down to going home, with 2 weeks left to go I phoned her to get no answer at our place. I decided she must've had a doctors appointment and left it until the next day. I phoned our place again and got no answer, this time I tried her mobile and got the number has been disconnected message. Maybe she had forgotten to pay her bill I thought so I decided to wait until that evening to phone her at home.

I did and got no answer again, I got a little worried and called a friend who went to our place to look and he said she wasn't home. Her car was gone so maybe she was at a friends, I said no worries mate I will give her a call in a couple days. With a week to go I hadn't heard from her and then I got in touch with her, she said "Hi baby, been having some issues with the baby so staying with a friend. I am late for a doctors appointment so I have to go, talk to you soon."

That was the last thing I heard from her while I was away. I came home after that to a relatively empty house, all her stuff was gone and a lot of our shared stuff too. She even had the indignity to take some of my prized possessions with her. I remember falling onto the bed and just not moving for hours, totally shattered. The next week at work I don't really remember I just went thru the motions and went home and shut myself away. I finally got a phone call a week after getting home, from a payphone someplace. "I don't love you and you're not the father." was all she said then she hung up the phone before I could even ask why.

Lets just say that whole incident put me in a whole so deep I didn't think I would climb out, any way one of my friends noticed that I hadn't been out and came around to see me and that is when I got help. He told work what had happened and I was sent for counselling and in the end I kind of got over it but not fully. Even today I still have issues because of what happened to me back then.

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