I sit here silently wondering why...
What did I do to deserve this action...
Yet all I can do is just sit and cry...
I tried to call you and you didn't answer.
You've shut me out and turned me down...
I'm hurting bad and don't like this pain...
You turned my warm smile to a frown...
It hurts even when I say your name.
I always thought you were too good for me...
you're beauty and radiance abounded...
for all of the world to absorb and see...
I never could be as good as you always were.
Goodbye my princess, you have left me alone...
Betrayed by a friend and someone I love...
I guess I won't hear you calling on the phone...
Or see your smile of feel your warm embrace.
(Written in less than 10 minutes as it popped into my head during writing... )
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Memories
Within my book of memories,
Are special thoughts of you.
And all the many nice things
You often say and do -
As I turn the pages,
And recall each single thought,
I realize the happiness
That knowing you has brought.
There are memories of the times we've shared
Both bright and sunny days.
There are memories of your kindness
And your friendly thoughtful ways.
There are memories of all those notes,
We would write back and forth,
When we would just get together,
And talk of this or that.
And when I recall these memories
As I go along life's way,
I find they grow more precious still
With every passing day.
Are special thoughts of you.
And all the many nice things
You often say and do -
As I turn the pages,
And recall each single thought,
I realize the happiness
That knowing you has brought.
There are memories of the times we've shared
Both bright and sunny days.
There are memories of your kindness
And your friendly thoughtful ways.
There are memories of all those notes,
We would write back and forth,
When we would just get together,
And talk of this or that.
And when I recall these memories
As I go along life's way,
I find they grow more precious still
With every passing day.
Wings of a Butterfly
Your friendship is special
Like the flowers that bloom,
Or when a butterfly emerges
From within its cocoon...
You remind me of that butterfly,
Loving and free,
Bright and colourful,
For the world to see...
We will share sunshine and rainbows;
Sometimes, the rain and the snow;
We'll stand together through it,
While the cold winds blow...
When the time is right,
We won't stop to ask "Why?"
Our friendship will take flight
On the wings of a butterfly...
Like the flowers that bloom,
Or when a butterfly emerges
From within its cocoon...
You remind me of that butterfly,
Loving and free,
Bright and colourful,
For the world to see...
We will share sunshine and rainbows;
Sometimes, the rain and the snow;
We'll stand together through it,
While the cold winds blow...
When the time is right,
We won't stop to ask "Why?"
Our friendship will take flight
On the wings of a butterfly...
The Friendship Box
Into a box of friendship
To insure that it is strong
First a layer of respect
On the bottom does belong.
Then to the sides attach,
In the corners where they meet,
Several anchors full of trust,
Devoid of all Deceit.
The height of friendship can be measured
By the sides of four,
So make them all a larger cut,
And the box will hold much more.
Now fill it up with courtesy,
Honour and esteem,
Understanding, sympathy,
And passion for a dream.
Add to that your honesty,
Emotions joy and love,
And since they¿re so important,
Place them up above.
But leave the box wide open
So all can see inside,
To learn what makes a friendship work
From the box you built with pride.
To insure that it is strong
First a layer of respect
On the bottom does belong.
Then to the sides attach,
In the corners where they meet,
Several anchors full of trust,
Devoid of all Deceit.
The height of friendship can be measured
By the sides of four,
So make them all a larger cut,
And the box will hold much more.
Now fill it up with courtesy,
Honour and esteem,
Understanding, sympathy,
And passion for a dream.
Add to that your honesty,
Emotions joy and love,
And since they¿re so important,
Place them up above.
But leave the box wide open
So all can see inside,
To learn what makes a friendship work
From the box you built with pride.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Failed Relationships
The worst of my failed relationships was with a lady named Kelly. She was someone with whom I had gotten exceptionally close in a relatively short time and to be honest I was happy with her.
I was in the Army and that was something I was enjoying and I had met Kelly through some friends of hers and mine. We were just good friends to start with but after a month or so there was definately something there between us and we ended up being a couple. We were happy for quite some time and even got to the point when we seemed inseperable. That was our highest point and that was when I did something I now regret, I proposed.
She accepted and we decided to wait to tell each persons families when we felt they were ready, because we both felt our families would say we were rushing it. As it turned out our families probably would've been right, but then how was I to know what would happen in the next few months. After the engagement things seemed to quieten off between us, mainly because I was away doing Army work and she was stuck without me there. We sent each other messages everyday, sometimes more than one a day.
I came back from one of my Army stints away and we had a wonderful time and I unfortunately had to go again. That was tough on Kelly more so than me I think because that is where the trouble came into it. Kelly wandered during one of my trips away and found herself with another man. I was totally unaware of this and came back from one of my short stint away. This time I was home again for a short while then off again as the Army dictated. While at home Kelly and I were so close again and things were really good and I could sense a change in her person that she didn't probably realise.
I was away for a while and during this time I found out that Kelly was pregnant, this was a joyous occasion as we had planned a family but not that soon. As they say sometimes things happen that you can't plan and Kelly never planned this, I was unaware of the turmoil her pregnancy obviously caused her. I was happy thinking I was the father when she was aware that I wasn't. A fact she managed to keep from me for a few months.
Finally that stint away was done and I returned home, we were happy and I did a lot of work to make sure that I could get extra time off here and there. It was during a night of extra work that one of my friends noticed her out with another guy - her response to him was "This is my cousin visiting from interstate, I haven't seen him in years." He could tell that she was not related to him because of what he had seen before.
Naturally he told me and I asked Kelly and her response was the same as it had been for my friend. I didn't think anything of it because I trusted her and she was going to marry me. A couple weeks passed and I again found myself away from home - this time on an extended trip of 3 months. I knew that it would be hard on Kelly but I told her I would call her every day to see how things were doing with her and the baby.
I was away for 2 months and I was to the point of counting the weeks down to going home, with 2 weeks left to go I phoned her to get no answer at our place. I decided she must've had a doctors appointment and left it until the next day. I phoned our place again and got no answer, this time I tried her mobile and got the number has been disconnected message. Maybe she had forgotten to pay her bill I thought so I decided to wait until that evening to phone her at home.
I did and got no answer again, I got a little worried and called a friend who went to our place to look and he said she wasn't home. Her car was gone so maybe she was at a friends, I said no worries mate I will give her a call in a couple days. With a week to go I hadn't heard from her and then I got in touch with her, she said "Hi baby, been having some issues with the baby so staying with a friend. I am late for a doctors appointment so I have to go, talk to you soon."
That was the last thing I heard from her while I was away. I came home after that to a relatively empty house, all her stuff was gone and a lot of our shared stuff too. She even had the indignity to take some of my prized possessions with her. I remember falling onto the bed and just not moving for hours, totally shattered. The next week at work I don't really remember I just went thru the motions and went home and shut myself away. I finally got a phone call a week after getting home, from a payphone someplace. "I don't love you and you're not the father." was all she said then she hung up the phone before I could even ask why.
Lets just say that whole incident put me in a whole so deep I didn't think I would climb out, any way one of my friends noticed that I hadn't been out and came around to see me and that is when I got help. He told work what had happened and I was sent for counselling and in the end I kind of got over it but not fully. Even today I still have issues because of what happened to me back then.
I was in the Army and that was something I was enjoying and I had met Kelly through some friends of hers and mine. We were just good friends to start with but after a month or so there was definately something there between us and we ended up being a couple. We were happy for quite some time and even got to the point when we seemed inseperable. That was our highest point and that was when I did something I now regret, I proposed.
She accepted and we decided to wait to tell each persons families when we felt they were ready, because we both felt our families would say we were rushing it. As it turned out our families probably would've been right, but then how was I to know what would happen in the next few months. After the engagement things seemed to quieten off between us, mainly because I was away doing Army work and she was stuck without me there. We sent each other messages everyday, sometimes more than one a day.
I came back from one of my Army stints away and we had a wonderful time and I unfortunately had to go again. That was tough on Kelly more so than me I think because that is where the trouble came into it. Kelly wandered during one of my trips away and found herself with another man. I was totally unaware of this and came back from one of my short stint away. This time I was home again for a short while then off again as the Army dictated. While at home Kelly and I were so close again and things were really good and I could sense a change in her person that she didn't probably realise.
I was away for a while and during this time I found out that Kelly was pregnant, this was a joyous occasion as we had planned a family but not that soon. As they say sometimes things happen that you can't plan and Kelly never planned this, I was unaware of the turmoil her pregnancy obviously caused her. I was happy thinking I was the father when she was aware that I wasn't. A fact she managed to keep from me for a few months.
Finally that stint away was done and I returned home, we were happy and I did a lot of work to make sure that I could get extra time off here and there. It was during a night of extra work that one of my friends noticed her out with another guy - her response to him was "This is my cousin visiting from interstate, I haven't seen him in years." He could tell that she was not related to him because of what he had seen before.
Naturally he told me and I asked Kelly and her response was the same as it had been for my friend. I didn't think anything of it because I trusted her and she was going to marry me. A couple weeks passed and I again found myself away from home - this time on an extended trip of 3 months. I knew that it would be hard on Kelly but I told her I would call her every day to see how things were doing with her and the baby.
I was away for 2 months and I was to the point of counting the weeks down to going home, with 2 weeks left to go I phoned her to get no answer at our place. I decided she must've had a doctors appointment and left it until the next day. I phoned our place again and got no answer, this time I tried her mobile and got the number has been disconnected message. Maybe she had forgotten to pay her bill I thought so I decided to wait until that evening to phone her at home.
I did and got no answer again, I got a little worried and called a friend who went to our place to look and he said she wasn't home. Her car was gone so maybe she was at a friends, I said no worries mate I will give her a call in a couple days. With a week to go I hadn't heard from her and then I got in touch with her, she said "Hi baby, been having some issues with the baby so staying with a friend. I am late for a doctors appointment so I have to go, talk to you soon."
That was the last thing I heard from her while I was away. I came home after that to a relatively empty house, all her stuff was gone and a lot of our shared stuff too. She even had the indignity to take some of my prized possessions with her. I remember falling onto the bed and just not moving for hours, totally shattered. The next week at work I don't really remember I just went thru the motions and went home and shut myself away. I finally got a phone call a week after getting home, from a payphone someplace. "I don't love you and you're not the father." was all she said then she hung up the phone before I could even ask why.
Lets just say that whole incident put me in a whole so deep I didn't think I would climb out, any way one of my friends noticed that I hadn't been out and came around to see me and that is when I got help. He told work what had happened and I was sent for counselling and in the end I kind of got over it but not fully. Even today I still have issues because of what happened to me back then.
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