random raving...

Well yesterday was my birthday and like most it came and went, but yesterday wasn't a happy birthday because for the past few days I've been rather ill - so much so that I've hardly eaten and all I seem to do is sleep and drink.  I don't mind the sleeping coz I know over the past month I haven't slept as much as I really should but you get that at times.

I got some presents yesterday too and a few nice surprises from friends who wished me Happy Birthday rather late in the day which is understandable if they forgot and were reminded online by one of the many reminders in social networking sites like Facebook.  I was feeling a little better last night but for some reason I also had trouble sleeping because I'd slept so much the last few days and I got to sleep about 2am which is totally unlike me coz mid week the latest I am up is usually midnight coz I get up at about 6am each day to get myself ready for work etc.

Anyways enough of that, I actually came on to rant about a few things in my life for example have you noticed how often people avoid talking to others when they are angry or upset.  I sometimes we think it's better to bottle it all up inside so we don't hurt someone else's feelings and stuff but there are times when we do that where people know we are hurting and all they want to do is help.  I mean heck I know my brother gets himself all bottled up inside and usually I can get him to blast it out with a few things I've learned over the years.

Letting the anger go or sharing the pain with someone else can make you feel a lot better and it also helps us to become more aware of what things are going wrong in your life or are upsetting you.  Many years ago I myself was silly enough to hold in a large amount of anger and pain and that was very bad because in the end it almost consumed me and destroyed who I am today.

The other rant I was gonna talk about is actually to do with friends - don't you just love friends, especially the ones who are there for you I mean really there for you... how many friends can we truly say would drop what they are doing to listen to our problems, comfort us or even help us with issues.  I know I have a handful of friends that I would even consider helping that much, but only one person usually is the "drop everything and go to them and help regardless" type.

I have one of them but for me it isn't as simple drop things and drive there in a hour... more like a couple days coz that person for me happens to be over 1000 miles away on the other side of the country.  I've had 3 times before when I packed up my car and gotten myself ready to go only to be talked out of it by another friend who happens to be there and can help them.  The one time that I truly wanted to go there the most and got talked out of it I should've gone because of all the people in their life they only wanted one person there... ME and I wasn't there for them.  Even today that stabs me and hurts me because I continue to feel that I have failed that friend because they are far more than a simple friend to me.