I have friends all around the world, and here at home and I have a family who are pretty close but that doesn't help when there are only a few people you can really truly say that you can trust or talk to about some things.
I have one particular friend who is so easy to talk to and so amazing that sometimes I forget she is a solid 3 day drive away from me... sometimes I feel like she is just that little trip around the corner and down the block. The ease at which I feel when she's around is unlike anything I have experienced in such a very long time. The only person who I felt this comfy around I was once engaged to and that ended very badly for me and I think sometimes it scares me how good I feel with her about. I get that old feeling of deja vu and it hurts at times but I haave conquered that pain and now I just have a few others to fight off.
I haven't heard from her for days and when I don't I start to get that bad feeling I had when my life kind of crumbled and crashed because 'my world' had left me without an explanation or any chance to talk it through or even say goodbye. I sometimes come online hoping to just pass her long enough to say hi but I sometimes see she has been or still is online but she isn't in a mood to talk to me... or even say hi.
I will admit I read her last blog and it saddened me to know that the things she mentioned in it were things that I thought we had in our relationship but I guess my view of things was clouded by how I felt and still feel about her. I guess my feeling alone is because I seem to always be left out, never thought of as worthy and even my own sister recently failed to recognise my existence in a conversation that pertained to family members. So as a result my confidence and self esteem are in a big low right now.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Ouch - the pain....
Over the past week or so I have had a bit of a sore tooth, and it has appreciably worsened over the last 2 days. So much so that I have a monster toothache which is effecting my sleep patterns and throwing the first curve ball at me for this year. The tooth happens to be the upper left wisdom tooth (when you look at me face on it's the right side of my face.) It is effecting my left cheek and orbit and as a result is therefore putting pressure on my left sinus cavity and giving me a killer headache.
I think it will be a case of out it comes - but when it comes out will be the question as I have known several people over the past month who have had bad wisdom teeth for weeks before they even looked like being removed. I want someone to smack me in the mouth really hard and knock this damn tooth out for me... argggghhhhhh it is such a pain.
I think it will be a case of out it comes - but when it comes out will be the question as I have known several people over the past month who have had bad wisdom teeth for weeks before they even looked like being removed. I want someone to smack me in the mouth really hard and knock this damn tooth out for me... argggghhhhhh it is such a pain.
2 days n 2 storms :)
So far 2010 has been a good year for me thus far, (apart from having my car bogged in mud for 6 hours on New Years Eve. However - it was in ways fun though, I guess).
Last night's storm woke me around 12:40am as I was in bed and asleep by 8pm last night as I tired from the exhausting day before and the fact I had maybe an hour or 2 of sleep. Of course this can also be attributed to my sore mouth (got a wisdom tooth that is really painful at the moment) Anyway back to the blog, lightning flashing in waves overhead was awesome and it was like Mother Nature had set up her own strobe light to brighten up the evening. Of course this meant the thunder rolled through in waves of Boom, Boom, Boom.
I managed to stay up and watch that for a few hours - not a wise thing because now I am again so very tired and may just take an afternoon nap to recharge my drained batteries. All I know is that my sleep lately has been very light and I think a trip to the dentist will rectify that problem so I will get right on top of that first thing Monday when I make an appointment to see my doctor - which is for a couple things, one is as part of my Operation 365 which I am still busily organising, and if it goes off correctly then it will become a yearly standard for me so here's hoping for good things.
Last night's storm woke me around 12:40am as I was in bed and asleep by 8pm last night as I tired from the exhausting day before and the fact I had maybe an hour or 2 of sleep. Of course this can also be attributed to my sore mouth (got a wisdom tooth that is really painful at the moment) Anyway back to the blog, lightning flashing in waves overhead was awesome and it was like Mother Nature had set up her own strobe light to brighten up the evening. Of course this meant the thunder rolled through in waves of Boom, Boom, Boom.
I managed to stay up and watch that for a few hours - not a wise thing because now I am again so very tired and may just take an afternoon nap to recharge my drained batteries. All I know is that my sleep lately has been very light and I think a trip to the dentist will rectify that problem so I will get right on top of that first thing Monday when I make an appointment to see my doctor - which is for a couple things, one is as part of my Operation 365 which I am still busily organising, and if it goes off correctly then it will become a yearly standard for me so here's hoping for good things.
Friday, January 1, 2010
Operation 365 (Resolute)
I guess it is that time of year when we make ourselves a resolution....
I have mine & it does involve that number above, 365 days in a year & 365 goals to achieve & some will be easy whilst others will be hard.
I won't be listing all here - this is just a reminder of them - they will be listed on my computer & crossed off accordingly when achieved - naturally. If ever you want to know them all anybody really needs to do is ask me.
I have mine & it does involve that number above, 365 days in a year & 365 goals to achieve & some will be easy whilst others will be hard.
I won't be listing all here - this is just a reminder of them - they will be listed on my computer & crossed off accordingly when achieved - naturally. If ever you want to know them all anybody really needs to do is ask me.
01 01 10 - What a start to the new year...
Yes it is the start of a new year and already I have had a somewhat eventful one so I hope the year improves and slows down a little for me. I was helping some friends who had a minor issue whilst camping about 125km from home, naturally being the caring person I am I went to their aid and we did have a win however the weather decided to turn just a little nasty on us and that made things interesting. My friends camp is several kilometres from the nearest good road and the area is a river plain so when it is wet it's extremely muddy.
The conditions were lovely for a person with a 4WD the only thing is neither my friends or I have one, I have an SV6 Holden Commodore (the S stands for Sports and it is a little more like a race car than a normal car) Lets just say my car had a very difficult time getting thru some of the muddy tracks. In one spot I was stuck for an hour as I used an old 4WD technique I was taught in the military to get out. The next spot was a very big bit wetter as it was in an open hollow and all the water collected there, this took 3 long hours of work to get thru and during this time I stopped to telephone a good friend as it had just gone the New Year for them, alas they didn't answer.
Having navigated those 2 I came across a mud slip, caused by a 4WD that had been bogged previously so naturally I got bogged in this as the mud on my tyres meant I had virtually no steering or traction so I had to go where the mud took me. For this one I just had to wait a couple hours for things to dry out and simply drive out. The most annoying frustrating thing is my car was covered in mud and I had to drive with badly vibrating steering because the hard caked mud had thrown the balance of my tyres out significantly, so much so I could only manage a maximum rate of speed at 4/5th's of the legal limit. This was funny because me in my Sporty Sedan was being passed by Grandmothers in their little 4 Cylinder Shoe Box cars and they were loving it.
I finally got myself to a car wash where I could clean the underside of my car and the tyres so at the least I had better travel times etc. I spent 20 minutes cleaning the wheel arches and underside of my car. With this done I was back to normal speed and those who had smiled passing me now were getting passed back, the ironic thing is that one of the people that passed me was towing a boat on a trailer, they must've stopped for a McDonald's breakfast (not very healthy) or something as I managed to pass them about 5 minutes after washing my cars exterior.
I have to get the interior detailed as it is covered in mud and muck and I had 3 pairs of shoes which in the end were all muddied as well as my nice new singlet and some of my other clothes I got for Christmas. I guess I will have to wash them all, but that is ok really as it is fun washing things when the weather is warm as I like to enjoy splashing around in the cool water and being silly. Of course I am still covered in dried up mud and in desperate need of a shower so I will go and do that and maybe come back and do my next blog which will be something of importance for me.
The conditions were lovely for a person with a 4WD the only thing is neither my friends or I have one, I have an SV6 Holden Commodore (the S stands for Sports and it is a little more like a race car than a normal car) Lets just say my car had a very difficult time getting thru some of the muddy tracks. In one spot I was stuck for an hour as I used an old 4WD technique I was taught in the military to get out. The next spot was a very big bit wetter as it was in an open hollow and all the water collected there, this took 3 long hours of work to get thru and during this time I stopped to telephone a good friend as it had just gone the New Year for them, alas they didn't answer.
Having navigated those 2 I came across a mud slip, caused by a 4WD that had been bogged previously so naturally I got bogged in this as the mud on my tyres meant I had virtually no steering or traction so I had to go where the mud took me. For this one I just had to wait a couple hours for things to dry out and simply drive out. The most annoying frustrating thing is my car was covered in mud and I had to drive with badly vibrating steering because the hard caked mud had thrown the balance of my tyres out significantly, so much so I could only manage a maximum rate of speed at 4/5th's of the legal limit. This was funny because me in my Sporty Sedan was being passed by Grandmothers in their little 4 Cylinder Shoe Box cars and they were loving it.
I finally got myself to a car wash where I could clean the underside of my car and the tyres so at the least I had better travel times etc. I spent 20 minutes cleaning the wheel arches and underside of my car. With this done I was back to normal speed and those who had smiled passing me now were getting passed back, the ironic thing is that one of the people that passed me was towing a boat on a trailer, they must've stopped for a McDonald's breakfast (not very healthy) or something as I managed to pass them about 5 minutes after washing my cars exterior.
I have to get the interior detailed as it is covered in mud and muck and I had 3 pairs of shoes which in the end were all muddied as well as my nice new singlet and some of my other clothes I got for Christmas. I guess I will have to wash them all, but that is ok really as it is fun washing things when the weather is warm as I like to enjoy splashing around in the cool water and being silly. Of course I am still covered in dried up mud and in desperate need of a shower so I will go and do that and maybe come back and do my next blog which will be something of importance for me.
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