Back once more...

Recently had to reformat my computer due to a virus and in the process of seeking it out I found a few old things that I had done that had fallen by the wayside... this was one of them.  I think now though it will be back.

been a while....

I haven't been in here for so so long and to be honest I hadn't missed it because things were going well and I was enjoying life and living the dream... only problem is the dream became a nightmare.

I had a lovely wonderful loving girlfriend but I lost her and the reason I did is a chemical imbalance within my brain that caused me no end of grief and made her life a bit of a living hell. I never knew of this problem but now I am working hard to fix it so that I can live and love to the fullest extent.

I started treatment and instantly could feel a difference, the thing is the condition has been with me since I was a teenager and could have been the cause of a lot of my relationship issues and problems such as depression, anxiety and my constant self doubt.

I have needed friends around me the past few weeks to talk about things and to understand things better because I am finding out things I never knew and never realised...and my friends are the ones who can help me the most, I just wish all of them were able to talk to me.

Looking back...

I know that sometimes I wasn't the best person to talk to and we did drift apart but to be honest I think we may have needed that to realise just how much we mean to each other because even when you were not talking to me you were in my thoughts.

I don't know how much you thought of me or how many nights you would lay awake in bed thinking of the things we used to do, the things we talked of doing or how special our time was.  I guess I will never know just how much I mean to you and I do want to find out... and I know you mean a lot to me.

oh my been so long since I was here...

I have to admit I had gotten busy with so many things.. surgery and work are the main two and naturally things slip through, this site was one of them.

Mainly because the only person who meant anything in here rarely came here and I guess we lost each other for a bit but I was skimming through old things here and came across this again so I will be back to let the world know what is happening.

ok... been a while ...

Well work has been crazy and I am still to have my operations... although I do now have the go ahead for one... gonna get my finger chopped open again so that they can fix it coz the 'butcher' that did the first work really made a hatchet job of it and the bone has spurs coming off it and it makes the whole finger damn sore... I just wish it didn't need surgery to be fixed but that is why it will take.

Am still waiting on my second operation and that one will be organised once I am over my finger operation, just hope that it isn't too long as I have plans of taking a trip from Australia to the US... and there is a bit of a time frame involved there.... hope I can do it when I want to.